ToT versus JoT

"Maybe the sun will shine today and the clouds will roll away" "maybe I won't be so afraid" "I will understand, everything has it's plan - either way" Wilco

Our son, Jonah was born on the Eve of Yom Kippur 5773, or September 25, 2012.  The day is memorable for many of reasons, including James answering his phone on time (this never, ever, happened), then he proceeded to call EVERY SINGLE person he knew on his 45 minute drive to the hospital, to explain my water-broke and it was time (this was on the 24^th), before any doctor, nurse, or professional even confirmed I was truly in labor…. Thankfully, my water was broken and I hadn’t just peed my pants…

Anyways, we went to the hospital with the idea that our son would leave with the name, Tyler Owen Troilo.  We liked the name Tyler; Jonah was a last minute idea that (I think) Jim threw out the day before we went in to the hospital, but we immediately threw it to the side because, at the time, we were pretty set on Tyler.  ToT – Jim and Jenny - would say like “Tater Tot” – Jim could be the Tater and Jonah could be the ToT…

Then, Jonah was born (a whole entire different story for another time); but, finally James and I were holding a healthy baby boy tight in our arms, and it was the Eve of Yom Kippur - 5773 – the day the Jewish people across the world were preparing to atone for our sins, the sins of our friends, neighbors, strangers, and humanity across the world.  And Jim looked at me, and said, this baby is not a Tyler; he is a Jonah…

And, we agreed, our son would be named Jonah Owen Troilo, which resembled so many things in our lives at the time.  First and foremost, the story of Jonah is part of Yom Kippur tradition and read each year– in a VERY brief synopsis:

Jonah trusts in life/G-D/spirituality, gets thrown off the ship, lives in a big fish for three days, and then is brought to shore and ends up warning and saving a nation/city/a people, etc… and has a short conversation with God on why mistakes and transgressions need to be forgiven.

  

For us, Jonah stood for so much more, it was my and Jim’s theoretical trip to the shore.  We were in a new state (Texas), a new beginning, a new era of our adult lives.  The big fish had delivered us a baby boy, through a stormy but safe ride (the longer story for another day), which ended with the best gift any family could dream of, a healthy, happy boy – who from the first time we saw him was automatically our Jonah.  Tyler was a name in the past, and there we were, on the Eve of Yom Kippur smiling down at our beautiful, son Jonah, our redemption – our future – our legacy, and all at once – James and my lives were consumed by this beautiful boy, Jonah Owen Troilo.

Of course, who knew the story would continue the way it has – and the story of Jonah would continue for new trials of spirituality and new trials of trust in something bigger.  As you can imagine, that is an unanswerable question at this time…  But, 5775 is here – Jonah and I are survivors; we are on some type of new shore – Of course, it’s scary, and unknown.  People like me hate not to see clarity.  I do know that James would want me to look down at our baby boy – and remember the first time we stared in to the eyes of our redemption, our fate, on the Eve of Yom Kippur.

So here we are, at the start of 5775, with a ton of unanswered questioned; yet the one, and most important question that will ALWAYS remain answered is that James loved that baby boy - delivered to us on our theoretical shore – more than life itself; and that love will carry us through, even through the roughest seas.

With all the love in the world, James – Jonah and I wish you a Happy 5775… and promise you that we will find, at least moments of happiness in 5775 – because that is and was your dream.  And, I will continue to try remembering Yom Kippur for the love and greatness of a storm that ended with our baby boy, Jonah Owen Troilo.

"Maybe the sun will shine today and clouds will roll away" "maybe I won't be so afraid" "I will understand, everything has it's plan - either way" Wilco